Hanging by a thread

I’m having a difficult time trying to deal with too many things at once. Like everyone else I have a limit to how many different issues I can cope with at once, although my limit seems to be much lower than the “average” persons.

When I get overwhelmed like this I don’t even know where to begin, I can’t think clearly enough to prioritise and the routines I rely on to cope with life end up flying out the window making everything harder than it was in the first place.

I end up in a terrified procrastination loop of “what if I don’t do it right” or ” which task should I start with” which just fills my head with noise til I can’t do anything.

This sadly is when carers/social workers are supposed to step in but unfortunately for me that won’t happen. I don’t have any carers, my social worker is beyond useless and my family are just adding to the list of things I can’t cope with instead of helping take things away.

Apparently saying “I can’t cope” or “I can’t do this” just means I’m not trying hard enough. Which is pretty much the story if my life.

I want to go on strike from life and just curl up in a hole somewhere.