Hanging by a thread

I’m great in an emergency. I can stay calm, quickly assess what needs to be done, shout like a battlefield Sergeant, and generally sort shit out.

I don’t understand why I have this particular skill however since I am completely incapable of organising myself, let alone others, in every day life. As a single mother I’m supposed to stay on top of a lot of things. Housework, Food stores and meal cooking, Making sure the spawn have clean clothes, doctors/hospital/vaccines/opticians what have you for them. Making sure the bills are paid and everyone gets to where they’re supposed to be on time. And I’m a major failure at most of these things.

As my children used to love to tell me I have the memory of a goldfish and to be fair that’s probably insulting goldfish. I am fantastic at starting tasks, only to forget half way through what the hell I was doing and wander off to do something else. As the old English saying goes “I couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.”

So, I’m already hitting a snag in this “being prepared” thing. To be fair I have been working on “being prepared” to some degree for quite a long time. Although my version has been about acquiring skills that one needs in the case of emergencies. I know first aid, I have a somewhat working understanding of common illnesses and medications. I can cook (I’m no chef but it is edible). I’ve learning how to grow my own veg and prepare and store it. How to craft things out of clay/wood/leather/metal whatever’s on hand. After all trying to learn these skills when you already need them is difficult and I think the bit that most preppers forget about. If society was to fall apart could you fix your own clothes? cook and store your own food? fix the wiring in the solar lights you bought?

And books. Why is there never a list of books that would be good to have on hand. You need a decent first aid book, a few one pot cookbooks are useful, How to books on a range of subjects definitely, Idiots guides to a huge number of things are handy as well. Books on woodwork, leatherwork, making clothes. If the internet goes down do you have an alternate source of information? They’re closing down all the library’s after all and theres no guarantee that a local book store carries the books you’re going to need.

And seeds. It’s all well and good going “I’ll grow my own veg!” from what? if you dont have a decent selection of seeds stored away how can you grown anything, not to mention an almanac that tells you when the best time of year to plant things is in your region.

And somehow I’m supposed to think of all these things and organise them? Just writing this is making my brain hurt. so I’m super stressed by my own short comings as usual and trying to find a way through the darkness that stress inevitably brings.

Why does life have to be so complicated?