Hanging by a thread

“To Know Thyself is the beginning of Wisdom” – Socrates

Part of being Autistic for me, is that part of my brain requires constant stimulation. This can be hyperfixations or just general hobbies and interests. If I don’t give it the stimulus its seeking it goes Rogue, wandering down dark paths and mulling over morbid thoughts that I don’t want to dwell on.

So in the interest of distraction I Feed my brain information through my studies. In the interest of understanding myself and my conditions so that I might get a better handle on them I often study different parts of psychology. I’m currently looking at a short course on Neuropsychology online. I feel like each of these courses and forays into academia give me a little piece of the puzzle that is me. I’m not sure if its a personal quirk but I feel like I gain a little piece of Me back each time I find a why.

Why did I react that way? Why did I fall for such manipulations? Why did I find it so difficult to cope? Why did I freeze?

The answer to each question is wrapped up in so many layers but everytime I peel one back I loosen the chains that bind me a little more. I understand myself a little better. I don’t know about gaining wisdom though, I generally just feel that I see the world a little clearer but I understand it less.